2
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Wat-
son go on a camping trip. After a
good dinner and a bottle of wine,
they retire for the night. Some hours
later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his
faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the
sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars,
Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from
that?”
Watson ponders for a minute, then
says, “Well, astronomically, it tells me
that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets. Astro-
logically, I observe that Saturn is in
Leo. Meteorologically, I suspect that
we will have a beautiful day tomor-
row. Theologically, I can see that God
is all-powerful and that we are a small
and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
“Watson, you idiot!” Holmes says.
“Someone has stolen our tent!”
in other words ...
Hey, genius: Smarts aren’t always
a substitute for common sense.3
One evening over dinner, a boy
asked his father, “Dad, are bugs
good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting,” said the father.
“You know the rules—we don’t talk
about things like that while we’re
eating.”
After dinner, the dad asked, “Now,
what was it you wanted, son?”“Oh, never mind, Dad,” the boy said.
“There was a bug in your soup, but
now it’s gone.”
in other words ...
If you get stuck on following
the rules, you might learn things
the hard (and crunchy) way.4
A doctor walks into the exam-
ining room and puts his hand
on his patient’s shoulder.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news.
You’re dying, and you don’t have
much time left.”
“Oh no!” says the patient. “How
long do I have to live?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“Ten?” cries the panicked patient.
“Ten what? Days? Weeks? Months?”
The doctor calmly replies, “Nine ...”
in other words ...
Life is short—and getting
shorter every day. Might as well
grab a Krispy Kreme.5
“See that kid?” a barber says to
his customer during a haircut,
pointing to a 12-year-old stand-
ing outside the barbershop. “He is the
dumbest kid in the world. Watch. I’ll
prove it to you.” The barber takes out
a one-dollar bill and a five-dollar bill,
then calls the boy inside. He holds
out both bills and asks, “Which one
do you want?”86 april 2019 | rd.com
Reader’s Digest Humor