The kid takes the one-dollar bill
and leaves the shop.
“See?” the barber says, laughing.
“The dumbest kid in the world.”
The customer leaves the barber-
shop and spots the boy coming out
of an ice cream store. He says, “If you
don’t mind my asking, son, why didn’t
you take the five-dollar bill?”
The boy takes a lick of his ice cream
cone and says, “Because the day I
choose the five, the game is over.”
in other words ...
A fool and his money are soon
parted. Just be sure you know
which one of you is the fool.6
It was the morning of Black
Friday, and there was a big sale
at the electronics superstore.
People lined up outside at 5 a.m. At
about 7:30, there was a huge commo-
tion when a short guy in khaki pants
tried working his way to the front of
the line. He didn’t get very far before
the mob grabbed him, wrestled him
out of line, and threw him into the
parking lot.
The little guy got up, brushed
himself off, and tried again. He was
barely able to take another step be-
fore an even bigger mob attacked
him and threw him out of the line
again. Undeterred, the guy got up
and started limping toward the front
of the line a third time.
“Are you nuts?” asked one of thered-faced mob members. “Don’t you
know you’re just gonna get tossed out
of line again?”
“Yeah, I know,” the man replied.
“But if you don’t let me get to the front
of the line, I’ll never be able to open
the store.”
in other words ...
Your mother was right: Just
because everyone else is doing it
doesn’t mean you should be too.7
A man is driving home from
work when his wife calls him on
his cell phone.
“Phil!” she shouts in a panic,
“Please be careful! I just heard that
some lunatic is driving the wrong way
on Route 80.”
“You won’t believe it, Doris,” he re-
plies. “It’s not just one car; it’s hun-
dreds of them!”
in other words ...
Sometimes there is a reason
everybody’s doing it one way.
(Yes, Mom, we hear you!)8
After weeks of rain, a town
flooded and residents had to be
evacuated. At one house, rescue
workers found a man standing waist-
deep in water. “C’mon! Get in the
boat!” the rescuers shouted.
The man shouted back, “No! I have
faith in God, and He will save me!”Humor Reader’s Digestrd.com | april 2019 89