RD201904

Please don’t come

to my garage sale if

you’ve ever let me

—

My husband is so good at

home repairs that they have

a special VIP area for him

in the emergency room.

— @ThisOneSayz

Movies show people kissing

in the rain, but I want a guy

who’ll run out there and get the

cushions off the porch chairs when

the weather starts kicking up.

— @AnniemuMary

Everybody’s

a tough guy

until they have to

use a screwdriver

overhead for

two minutes.

— @stevevsninjas

My girlfriend

wants me to stain

the new wooden

fence in her

backyard. So I’m

going to eat

spaghetti over it

for a few weeks.

— @rickolantern

I ordered a bed

from IKEA, and

they sent me a tree

trunk and a saw.

— @eileencurtright

Bringing

Down the

House

Reader’s Digest

rd.com 91

va

le

ri

iaa

rn

au

d/

sh

ut

te

rs

to

ck

(m

an

).^

gr

ea

ts

na

pz

/s

hu

tt

er

st

oc

k^ (

to

ol

s)

LAUGH LINES