Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

whether or not they could agree, there would be no emotional strings.
The Win-Win or No Deal approach is most realistic at the beginning of a
business relationship or enterprise. In a continuing business relationship, no deal
may not be a viable option, which can create serious problems, especially for
family businesses or businesses that are begun initially on the basis of
friendship.
In an effort to preserve the relationship, people sometimes go on for years
making one compromise after another, thinking win-lose or lose-win even while
talking win-win. This creates serious problems for the people and for the
business, particularly if the competition operates on win-win and synergy.
Without no deal, many such businesses simply deteriorate and either fail or
have to be turned over to professional managers. Experience shows that it is
often better in setting up a family business or a business between friends to
acknowledge the possibility of no deal downstream and to establish some kind of
buy/sell agreement so that the business can prosper without permanently
damaging the relationship.
Of course there are some relationships where no deal is not viable. I wouldn't
abandon my child or my spouse and go for no deal (it would be better, if
necessary, to go for compromise -- a low form of win-win). But in many cases, it
is possible to go into negotiation with a full Win-Win or No Deal attitude. And
the freedom in the attitude is incredible.
Five Dimensions of Win-Win
Think Win-Win is the habit of interpersonal leadership. It involves the
exercise of each of the unique human endowments -- self-awareness,
imagination, conscience, and independent will -- in our relationships with others.
It involves mutual learning, mutual influence, mutual benefits.
It takes great courage as well as consideration to create these mutual
benefits, particularly if we're interacting with others who are deeply scripted in
win-los.
That is why this habit involves principles of interpersonal leadership.
Effective interpersonal leadership requires the vision, the proactive initiative,
and the security, guidance, wisdom, and power that come from principle-
centered personal leadership.
The principle of win-win is fundamental to success in all our interactions,
and it embraces five interdependent dimensions of life. It begins with character
and moves toward relationships, out of which flow agreements. It is nurtured in
an environment where structure and systems are based on win-win. And it
involves process; we cannot achieve win-win ends with win-lose or lose-win
means.