transformational leadership, transforming the individuals involved as well as the
relationship.
Because win-win is a principle people can validate in their own lives, you
will be able to bring most people to a realization that they will win more of what
they want by going for what you both want. But there will be a few who are so
deeply embedded in the win-lose mentality that they just won't Think Win-Win.
So remember that no deal is always an option. Or you may occasionally choose
to go for the low form of win-win -- compromise.
It's important to realize that not all decisions need to be win-win, even when
the Emotional Bank Account is high. Again, the key is the relationship. If you
and I worked together, for example, and you were to come to me and say,
“Stephen, I know you won't like this decision. I don't have time to explain it to
you, let alone get you involved. There's a good possibility you'll think it's wrong.
But will you support it?”
If you had a positive Emotional Bank Account with me, of course I'd support
it. I'd hope you were right and I was wrong. I'd work to make your decision
work.
But if the Emotional Bank Account weren't there, and if I were reactive, I
wouldn't really support it. I might say I would to your face, but behind your back
I wouldn't be very enthusiastic. I wouldn't make the investment necessary to
make it succeed. “It didn't work,” I'd say. “So what do you want me to do now?”
If I were overreactive, I might even torpedo your decision and do what I
could to make sure others did too. Or I might become “maliciously obedient”
and do exactly and only what you tell me to do, accepting no responsibility for
results.
During the five years I lived in Great Britain, I saw that country brought
twice to its knees because the train conductors were maliciously obedient in
following all the rules and procedures written on paper.
An agreement means very little in letter without the character and
relationship base to sustain it in spirit. So we need to approach win-win from a
genuine desire to invest in the relationships that make it possible.
Agreements
From relationships flow the agreements that give definition and direction to
win-win. They are sometimes called performance agreements or partnership
agreements, or shifting the paradigm of productive interaction from vertical to
horizontal, from hovering supervision to self-supervision, from positioning to
being partners in success.
Win-Win Agreements cover a wide scope of interdependent interaction. We
discussed one important application when we talked about delegation in the
joyce
(Joyce)
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