that a world without racism would be a perfect world—humanity is full
of flaws, there's no getting rid of them—but it woulddefinitely be a
better place.
Tell.
I'd say something that left a big impact on me wasgoing to Chinese
school. Even if I got barely any Chinese out of it,I think it was worth it.
I went as a student every Saturday, up until 8th grade,and then I
started volunteering there in grade 10 (our year gotcut short by the
corona virus, but it lasted for 7 months). So I grewup with the same
small group of kids for years. We never really talkedabout anything
deep, but the connection was still there. I don'ttalk to any of them
anymore, though. And maybe I'm just a very sentimentalperson, but I
think about them a lot. They did influence who I am.Like I know none
of us wanted to be there, but we still were, and wehad good times.
And I think about the kids in the class I was volunteeringfor too. I hope
they're doing well. They were an infuriating bunch—I'venever met such
outspoken kids, but I'm fond of them all the same.
Another thing would be my grandmother's cooking. Everyweek, my dad
goes to visit her, and he brings back food (and soup!).It's really
traditional Chinese food; pretty comforting to eat.And I want to learn
how to cook some of those dishes. But I don't knowwhere I'd start,
especially with the state of the world. My grandmotheris the only
person I know who can cook like that (maybe my mother,but I've never
seen her cook dishes like that). I don't have opportunitiesto see my
grandmother often, and my Chinese is mediocre at best.I know I'd have
trouble learning from her. But at the same time, Idon't want to lose
them. And I'm not very good at connecting with themembers of my
family anyways, so my embarrassment has been stoppingme from
asking.
Correct.
I wish I didn't participate in academic stereotypes,or that I could
change the culture of my school. At my high school,we call taking the
top six academically heavy courses (english, chemistry,biology, physics,
french, math) the "Asian six pack." Because yknow,Asians can't get a
muscular six pack, all they have are brains. It'sjust a stupid joke, but
I've realized that it did affect how I felt aboutthe courses I was taking.
I felt guilty and insecure for not signing up forall the STEM courses,
and instead pursuing more creative courses. Anothertime, my friend
was talking about her grades, and she had around an87. I instinctively
said, "oh, so you're Asian failing (grade is an A,but still below a 90)."
And as soon as I said it, I wish I didn't. BecauseI didn't want her to feel
bad about her marks, and I've realized that it's aharmful joke. But kids
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