predominantly white, but also a lot of the older people around me are
strongly against having trade deals with china, havea lot of conspiracy
theories about our premier being a communist spy,etc, so i’ve grown to
accept those things as a given part of me too — whichis in hindsight
definitely a negative response to racism.
Differ from Asian stereotype(s).
i’m,, a burnt out gifted kid ר in the beginning,i was definitely
exactly like the stereotype; i played an instrument,i was top of the
class in everything, i was always reading, etc. ialso didn’t have many
friends. even when i was like 8, my teachers and parentsalways
expected me to do better than i already was, solelybecause of my
ethnicity.
when i got older, it kind of became clearer that iwas never actually the
stereotypical asian kid and was in fact just goodat reading; and as
soon as the natural asian intellect i was relyingon failed to save me,
most people around me realised i wasn’t that smarteither and stopped
referring to me as such.
even now, some people i meet are still shocked i’mnot getting A’s in
everything and sometimes have questioned if i’m actuallyasian.
hearing “you’re not fulfilling your true potential”from teachers who
don’t even know me, i’ve come to realise that theonly basis they have
for their claims is just. just that i’m asian.
in the past year or so i’ve actually been afraid toshare that i play an
instrument and partake in several extracurricularactivities, for fear
people will accuse me of upholding stereotypes. it’staken a while to
accept that i’m not walking racial propaganda becausei’m,, myself. imo
i think i would’ve turned out a lot more mentallyhealthy if i didn’t have
stereotypes to live up to ://
A theoretical space without racism.
go to america. specifically the southern states.
on a more serious note, i'd feel a lot less restrictedand able to move
around more freely without fearing that i'll be ridiculedor mocked or
even just laughed at. i'd feel a lot more relieved.as i'm AFAB, i know i
wouldn't be completely safe, but it would be substantiallysafer.
i'd also like to engage more in the creative arts,since i wouldn't have
to be worried about people expecting me to be goodat maths/science
instead. it's a minor thing but i really do like drawingand i've always
been held back by my parents' expectations, so that'd be fun.
Tell.
but like,, honestly not much to say here.
i remember sitting in my aunt’s restaurant, at a tablestained with
something sticky, and as i looked out at the tensof other shops just like
hers, with few customers and C hygiene/quality ratings,i realised how
166
mchaos
(mchaos)
#1