Generality:“Yellow”. 213
An option that often shows up in those forms I need to fill. It probably
means the negative space that is yet not covered bythe given options. I
hope it actually means “other” though - not “not this”, but a possibility
to be outside the system.
I don’t think I can, or want to, deny the cultureI grew up from and the
influences I had all around. I still use my languageand hold what has
grown out of it. However, I kind of want to avoidsaying that I am from
a certain place or belong to a specific group of people.After leaving the
place I grew up, I became more aware of the ambiguityin myself, as
well as in other people. (This ambiguity should besomething that
everyone possesses, it’s just that I see it at thispoint?) It is somehow
empowering, to come to know that one can stay in-betweennames,
always changing. I want to value this ambiguity.
At times, I feel worried if this can somehow stopme from caring and
speaking up against racism. I don’t know? I rememberasking myself if
one has to resist in the same identity one is oppressedin. Not having
ethnicity, not having to place myself into certaincategories is probably
the ideal situation, yet we are still in an imminentreality that require
people to stand together as a group to bring abouta change, and
perhaps in some case naming/renaming is vital forsolidarity. I’m still
not sure. Hope I can be flexible and fluid.
Differ from Asian stereotype(s).
Here in London, when I interact with people, I dosometimes imagine
what I look like to others, and if I happen to bewhat they might
imagine an Asian would be. For a while I was anxious,feeling that I
couldn’t differ from the stereotypes. If I need todiffer from something, I
need to know first what it is, where its boundariesare. But I didn’t. I
didn’t belong to the group of people that name anddefine it, and it
never stops changing.
Recently I began to think, however, what can activelynegate the
stereotype is one’s singularity and multiplicity,and this is something I
already own. I’d continue to be what I am no matterhow the stereotype
goes. Perhaps that would be enough?
A theoretical space without racism.
Wow. I realise that I’d find it difficult to imaginea space without racism
in a general sense, just as difficult as picturinga space without
patriarchy. It would have to be very different. Wemight no longer
perceive cultures as on a single path towards an advancedone with
different speed or position, in a way that introducessuperiority and
inferiority, but simply equally valuable, and different.Our perspective
could become non-linear. Perhaps there will be nomore centres, and
we can connect in other ways. We might develop a different
mchaos
(mchaos)
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