Generality:“Yellow”. 93
Tell.
I don’t talk about what it’s like growing up withimmigrant parents very
often. My friends growing up knew a few aspects ofit, which were the
unavoidable topics of ‘my parents said no’ when Icouldn’t go to outings
with them, for example, to which they would reactwith weird faces
because ‘we’re old enough’. There’s certain rules,expectations and
dynamics that seem odd to people outside of the culture,some things I
am expected to do and not to do, and how everythingI do should be a
kind of repayment to my parents for working hard toprovide for me.
Them being overprotective also made me miss out onmy teenage
years, and the same is happening in my 20s.
There is an underlying guilt when I make my own decisionsor simply
the way I am that it falls outside of their expectations,and it’s difficult
to put into words when I try to explain this to someonethat hasn’t
quite experienced the same situations at home thatI have. I know I am
an adult and can technically make my own decisions,but it becomes
difficult when part of me will always have my parentsin mind because
of the way I was conditioned to be (which I am nowtrying to unlearn,
as some of these habits can be toxic and detrimentalto my own
wellbeing).
The reason why I mention this specifically is becauseit is very common
in many Asian households, and I know first-hand howisolating it can
be when you have to live under almost suffocatingrules in a country
where the people you spend time with are (most likely)granted
freedom as they go through their teen years and 20s.
Correct.
Quite a few come to mind, but one in particular wasconsistent
throughout my school years. Generally, I’d like tocorrect the people
that used to think I was naturally gifted in schoolbecause I was Asian,
indirectly lessening the feat of my academic accomplishmentsbecause
it was an expectation (imposed by parents). I workedjust as hard if not
harder to achieve high grades, and I struggled academicallytoo, my
parents couldn’t really help me with studying andhomework as soon
my syllabus covered things beyond what they had learnt,so I had to
figure things out by myself. Same applies to manyother things like
filling out documents for me and my family– I hadto learn how to do
things on behalf of adults
whilst trying to meet their expectations. I didn’thave it as easy as one
would think, but when one doesn’t see the whole picture,it is easy to
assume otherwise.
To someone.
To my Asian brothers and sisters: whatever your challenges,whatever
your experiences- I see you, and I love you. The worldisn’t always kind,
mchaos
(mchaos)
#1