turns, one row at a time, just being with people by looking them in the
eyes without talking. I was in Row Three.
The seminar leader called Row One to step up onstage and face us,
the audience.They looked at us sitting in our seats.We looked back.
Then Row Two was ordered up to the stage and Row Two stood one
foot away from (but facing) Row One.They were left looking into each
other’s eyes for three minutes.Then Row Two was asked to leave the
stage and return to their seats. Again, Row One was left onstage to look
at us in our seats and us to look at them onstage.
The closer it got to my time onstage, the more I realized I was
stressing, but I had no idea why. My hands started to sweat and I
noticed I also fidgeted in my seat.The task at hand seemed simple
enough. I had always given great eye contact during conversations with
strangers and friends my whole life. I would be just fine.
Then I remembered that at my first Landmark seminar the forum
leader shared his story of when he first experienced this same exercise.
He said that when he participated in this exercise as an attendee over
20 years before, his knees shook so hard that an assistant from the
seminar placed his jacket between his knees to stop the noise.
Thinking back to what he said, I felt like leaving the room. I
told myself that I didn’t need to continue the exercise, that I was
great looking people in the eye already! But I knew that leaving the
room wouldn’t be tolerated. So I stayed in my seat, sweating and
fidgeting.
The first time my row was invited onstage was to stand one foot
away from another row and look into their eyes.Whew! I don’t have to
look at 50 people. I just have to look at one! I thought.We got
positioned and the seminar leader started guiding us through our three-
minute process of self-discovery.Within the first 10 seconds I was crying
uncontrollably, gushing water, and I had no idea why. I couldn’t stop
crying. Every time I looked at my partner across from me I just sobbed.
“Row Three, please exit to your left,” I heard. I said “Thank you” to
my partner and left.86 Zero Limitsccc_zero_077-112_evid.qxd 5/4/07 2:21 PM Page 86