What the hell happened to me?! I was supposed to listen to what
my inner voice told me, but I never heard a thing! I was just
overwhelmed—no words. I didn’t learn anything! What kind of exercise
is this?! I was confused, embarrassed, and left to ponder my experience
as the exercise continued on the stage in front of me.“Row Three, please
stand, turn to your right, and go to the stage.” Aaaaaargh! Not again!
my mind screamed.
Now my row was facing the people seated offstage. I survived the
three minutes this time because I just didn’t look at people who were
looking at me. Now Row Four was ordered onto the stage and a new
partner was standing in front of me, one foot away from my face.This
time I was face to face with a kinder older woman who smiled at me
shyly.“Okay, I think I can handle it this time,” I told myself. But then
the tears started gushing as soon as the exercise began. Each time I
looked into my partner’s eyes the tears just gushed and I turned away.
She quietly tried to comfort me by telling me everything was going to be
okay. I was embarrassed and confused by my unexplained tear gushes.
The seminar leader was directing all of us to listen to what was inside
our heads—what we said to ourselves. But my voice wasn’t talking.
Then I suddenly remembered that I could fill my head with
thoughts instead of trying to listen to my thoughts. My inner voice
wasn’t talking to me, anyway. Once I put thoughts in my head that
were better than what was there, I immediately looked again at my
partner and thought,Thank you. I love you.Thank you. I’m sorry. I
love you.Thank you. I immediately got comforted and was filled with
appreciation and love for the woman across from me. I felt better and the
gushing stopped. I was looking at her and I was not gushing tears.
To my surprise, my partner started crying.Tears started streaming
down her face and her head started shaking slightly back and forth as
she whispered,“Now you’re making me cry.” I just kept sending her
my private thoughts:“Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive
me.Thank you.” And so on.Then my partner was directed off the stage
and I was left standing again in front of 50 people who were directed toThe Evidence 87ccc_zero_077-112_evid.qxd 5/4/07 2:21 PM Page 87