tex ng involves both listening and talking, right? But what many
people overlook is that when it comes to good communica on,
listening is probably the more important of the two skills. And this
applies to tex ng as well.
How can you know what to say unless you first know what your
partner wants or needs to hear at that moment. So, listen as if you
need to take notes on what is being said. Listening is super
important because it makes the other person want to talk more
and it makes them feel cared for and valued. So when you’re
having a conversa on make sure you are able to show the other
person that you are listening. When you don’t show that you are
listening, people will lose confidence in whatever it's they are
saying and think you’re not interested. And you'll miss out on all
the really interes ng, juicy bits that people only reveal once they
are in their comfort zone.
So the Ac ve Journal Method is essen ally listening as if you were
going to be ac vely journaling about whatever your partner is
saying. This is listening purposefully, with your focus on
understanding what your partner is trying to communicate. You do
that by asking ques ons that echo and reflect back understanding,
and by frequently checking that you fully understand. For
example, if your partner says “my boss is in a terrible mood today
and they are taking it out on me” - Instead of saying “sorry to hear
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