rela onship. Otherwise, you could wind up unconsciously pushing
him away without even realizing it.
Now the most important part of this chapter... Why does this
keep happening to me and how can you turn things around?
For most people, there are two reasons. It happens when you start
thinking of this new person as “the one” or when you start
daydreaming and roman cizing a rela onship that doesn’t even
exist yet, and may never exist.
So instead of being able to be present and engaged in this
moment, you’re stuck in a future where you are assuming so
much... you’re daydreaming and fantasizing of all the amazing
mes you'll share. That causes you to elevate the importance of
this rela onship a great deal. And when you put too much into this
outcome, you become too invested in a future that you can’t
control. That causes anxiety.
When you really like someone, when you really want someone, the
stakes are higher, and the level of importance you a ach to that
person is higher, and your level of anxiety and fear of losing that
person goes way up. When that happens, any insecuri es that you
may have about the rela onship, and about da ng that person,
manifest in your interac ons with him.
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