Mind: Yes! Definitely! But try not to picture that the lake is covered with... what are those
things called—
Me: Jet Skis?
Mind: Yes! Jet Skis! Those things consume so much fuel! They’re really a menace to the
environment. Do you know what else uses a lot of fuel? Leaf blowers. You wouldn’t think so,
but—
Me: OK, but let’s MEDITATE now, please? Om Namah—
Mind: Right! I definitely want to help you meditate! And that’s why we’re going to skip the
image of an island on a lake or an ocean, because that’s obviously not working. So let’s ima-
gine that you’re an island in... a river!
Me: Oh, you mean like Bannerman Island, in the Hudson River?
Mind: Yes! Exactly! Perfect. Therefore, in conclusion, let’s meditate on this im-
age—envision that you are an island in a river.
All the thoughts that float by as you’re meditating, these are just the river’s natural currents
and you can ignore them because you are an island.
Me: Wait, I thought you said I was a temple.
Mind: That’s right, sorry. You’re a temple on an island. In fact, you are both the temple and
the island.
Me: Am I also the river?
Mind: No, the river is just the thoughts.
Me: Stop! Please stop! YOU’RE MAKING ME CRAZY!!!
Mind (wounded): Sorry. I was only trying to help.