Eat, Pray, Love

I ever saw, and I was wondering where the room was where you have to give ’em all your
money and turn over the deed to your house and car, but that never did happen.. .”
After that experience, which was about ten years ago, Richard found himself praying all
the time. His prayer was always the same. He kept begging God, “Please, please, please
open my heart.” That was all he wanted—an open heart. And he would always finish the pray-
er for an open heart by asking God, “And please send me a sign when the event has oc-
curred.” Now he says, recollecting that time, “Be careful what you pray for, Groceries, cuz you
just might get it.” After a few months of praying constantly for an open heart, what do you
think Richard got? That’s right—emergency open-heart surgery. His chest was literally
cracked open, his ribs cleaved away from each other to allow some daylight to finally reach
into his heart, as though God were saying, “How’s that for a sign?” So now Richard is always
cautious with his prayers, he tells me. “Whenever I pray for anything these days, I always
wrap it up by saying, ‘Oh, and God? Please be gentle with me, OK?’ ”
“What should I do about my meditation practice?” I ask Richard one day, as he’s watching
me scrub the temple floors. (He’s lucky—he works in the kitchen, doesn’t even have to show
up there until an hour before dinner. But he likes watching me scrub the temple floors. He
thinks it’s funny.)
“Why do you have to do anything about it, Groceries?”
“Because it stinks.”
“Says who?”
“I can’t get my mind to sit still.”
“Remember what the Guru teaches us—if you sit down with the pure intention to meditate,
whatever happens next is none of your business. So why are you judging your experience?”
“Because what’s happening in my meditations cannot be the point of this Yoga.”
“Groceries, baby—you got no idea what’s happening in there.”
“I never see visions, I never have transcendent experiences—”
“You wanna see pretty colors? Or you wanna know the truth about yourself? What’s your
intention?”
“All I seem to do is argue with myself when I try to meditate.”
“That’s just your ego, trying to make sure it stays in charge. This is what your ego does. It
keeps you feeling separate, keeps you with a sense of duality, tries to convince you that
you’re flawed and broken and alone instead of whole.”
“But how does that serve me?”
“It doesn’t serve you. Your ego’s job isn’t to serve you. Its only job is to keep itself in
power. And right now, your ego’s scared to death cuz it’s about to get downsized. You keep
up this spiritual path, baby, and that bad boy’s days are numbered. Pretty soon your ego will