Influence - The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials) by Robert B. Cialdini (z-lib.org)

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not toward the things that may produce undue liking for a compliance
practitioner, but toward the fact that undue liking has been produced.
The time to react protectively is when we feel ourselves liking the
practitioner more than we should under the circumstances.
By concentrating our attention on the effect rather than the causes,
we can avoid the laborious, nearly impossible task of trying to detect
and deflect the many psychological influences on liking. Instead, we
have to be sensitive to only one thing related to liking in our contacts
with compliance practitioners: the feeling that we have come to like the
practitioner more quickly or more deeply than we would have expected.
Once we notice this feeling, we will have been tipped off that there is
probably some tactic being used, and we can start taking the necessary
countermeasures. Note that the strategy I am suggesting borrows much
from the jujitsu style favored by the compliance professionals them-
selves. We don’t attempt to restrain the influence of the factors that
cause liking. Quite the contrary. We allow these factors to exert their
force, and then we use that force in our campaign against them. The
stronger the force, the more conspicuous it becomes and, consequently,
the more subject to our alerted defenses.
Suppose, for example, we find ourselves bargaining on the price of
a new car with Dealin’ Dan, a candidate for Joe Girard’s vacated
“greatest car salesman” title. After talking a while and negotiating a
bit, Dan wants to close the deal; he wants us to decide to buy the car.
Before any such decision is made, it would be important to ask ourselves
a crucial question: “In the twenty-five minutes I’ve known this guy,
have I come to like him more than I would have expected?” If the answer
is yes, we might want to reflect upon whether Dan behaved during
those few minutes in ways that we know affect liking. We might recall
that he had fed us (coffee and doughnuts) before launching into his
pitch, that he had complimented us on our choice of options and color
combinations, that he had made us laugh, that he had cooperated with
us against the sales manager to get us a better deal.
Although such a review of events might be informative, it is not a
necessary step in protecting ourselves from the liking rule. Once we
discover that we have come to like Dan more than we would have ex-
pected to, we don’t have to know why. The simple recognition of un-
warranted liking should be enough to get us to react against it. One
possible reaction would be to reverse the process and actively dislike
Dan. But that might be unfair to him and contrary to our own interests.
After all, some individuals are naturally likable, and Dan might just be
one of them. It wouldn’t be right to turn automatically against those
compliance professionals who happen to be most likable. Besides, for
our own sakes, we wouldn’t want to shut ourselves off from business


154 / Influence

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