the_debt_of_time

Though he had never been on the receiving end of one of her hexes—which were
always reserved for James—Sirius knew the glare of Lily Evans better than almost anyone.
He had tormented Snape for years, much worse than James ever had, and she was never
one to ignore that fact.
"I don't hate either of you," Lily confessed, looking slightly hurt by his words. "I
just don't like the things you do sometimes. That's hardly the point. It's not fair for anyone
to lose a parent, and I feel sad for those who do, regardless of whether or not I'm friends
with them."
"I told you, I'm fine," Sirius growled. "Go bother James. It's his mum that's dying,
after all."
"She's your mum too. You've already lost one set of parents."
Sirius closed his eyes, fighting the memories that attacked him as though he were
being drowned in a Pensieve.
"Am I back to Mrs Potter again? Oh dear, so formal. As I've told you since you were a boy, you
may call me Dorea, or even Mum if it pleases you. It's always pleased me considering how amusing the look
on Walburga's face would be should she ever hear it."
He had called her "Mum" from that moment on.
"Fuck." Sirius groaned as he felt the well of emotions rise inside of him, tears
stinging his eyes as they threatened to fall. "Evans, can we... Can we please not do this
right now?" he begged—actually begged—flinching when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder.
She should not be allowed to touch him like that—like she cared—with softness and
a strange type of love that Sirius was not familiar with. She was not Mia, she was not Pack,
and he certainly was not fucking her. What right did she have to care about him?
"It's okay to be sad, Sirius."
"No, it's not!" He yanked away from her touch, glaring at her. "It makes me weak!
If I'm sad then they win! I don't have a right to be sad. This is my fault." The tears that had
formed in the corners of his eyes began falling down his cheeks. "I brought this down on
the Potters. Death follows me fucking everywhere! It's because of me that Mia was
threatened." He thought back to Bellatrix at Narcissa's wedding. "It's because of me that
James almost died. It's because of me that you were attacked. Hell, the only reason we were
in the hospital today is because Death Eaters came after us, more than likely to get to me!"