HOW TO START YOUR OWN RELIGIONStep Three: Preemptively Invalidate All Criticism or Outside
Questioning
Now that your fledgling religion has its core tenets of faith, you need to find a
way to protect that faith from the inevitable criticism that will be flung its
way. The trick is to adopt a belief that creates a self-reinforcing us-versus-
them dichotomy—that is, create a perception of “us” versus “them” in such a
way that anyone who criticizes or questions “us” immediately becomes a
“them.”
This sounds difficult, but is actually quite easy. Here are some examples:If you don’t support the war, then you support the terrorists.
God created science to test our faith in God. Therefore, anything that
contradicts the Bible is merely a test of our faith in God.
Anyone who criticizes feminism is sexist.
Anyone who criticizes capitalism is a Communist.
Anyone who criticizes the president is a traitor.
Anyone who thinks Kobe Bryant was better than Michael Jordan doesn’t
understand basketball; therefore, any opinion they hold about basketball
is invalid.The point of these false us-versus-them dichotomies is to cut off at the
knees any reasoning or discussion before your followers start questioning
their beliefs. These false us-versus-them dichotomies have the added benefit
of always presenting the group with a common enemy.
Common enemies are hugely important. I know we all like to think we’d
prefer to live in a world of perfect peace and harmony, but honestly, such a
world wouldn’t last for more than a few minutes. Common enemies create
unity within our religion. Some sort of scapegoat, whether justified or not, is
necessary to blame for our pain and maintain our hope.^35 Us-versus-them
dichotomies give us the enemies we all desperately crave.
After all, you need to be able to paint a really simple picture for your
followers. There are those who get “it” and those who do not get “it.” Those
who get it are going to save the world. Those who do not get it are going to
destroy it. End of discussion. Whatever “it” is depends on whatever belief
you’re trying to sell—Jesus, Muhammad, libertarianism, gluten-free diets,