1.Your wife's sister yelled at her for not yet repaying money she
loaned her two months ago. Your wife is feeling outraged and hurt
by her sister's attitude. (She does owe her sister the money.)
You say:
2.Your husband got a speeding ticket on his way home. "It was a
speed trap!" he yells. "Everyone was going 80 mph. Why do I have
to be the one who gets pulled over?"
You say:
3.Your wife was late getting to a big job interview. Now she's worried
she won't get the job. "I can't believe how stupid I was," she moans.
You say:
4.Your husband asked his boss for a raise and was turned down. He
got angry and stormed out of his boss's office. Now he's worried
that his boss will hold this against him.
You say:
Sample Answers:
- "I'm sorry she made you feel really hurt and angry." (Or "Poor baby")
- "How outrageous! That's so unfair!" (Or "Poor baby")
- "You weren't stupid. That could happen to anybody." (Or "Poor baby.")
- "I understand how you feel," (Or "Poor baby.")
One last note: No one knows you better than your spouse. Sometimes
advice may be just what you're looking for. The best strategy is to
talk about what you'd each like from the other when you're feeling
stressed. If your spouse is ranting about the promotion he didn't get,
you can say something like "You're obviously really upset about this.
How can I help you? Do you need me just to listen, or do you want
me to help you brainstorm what to do next?"
If you have this sort of conversation every day, it can't help but
benefit your marriage. You'll come away with the conviction that