women's jobs provide them with a source not only of income and
economic power but of self-esteem as well. A significant number of
the core issues we see between couples today have to do with this
change in gender roles. Often wives complain that men still aren't
doing their fair share of domestic chores and child care. This is not
just an issue for young couples. We have seen the same pattern
among couples in their forties and sixties. Men who are willing to
accept influence are happily married. Those who are not seeing their
marriages become unstable. As one unhappy husband put it, "I
married June Cleaver and she turned into Murphy Brown. It's not
fair. I didn't bargain for this."
It's understandable that some men have problems with the shift
in the husband's role. For centuries men were expected to be in
charge of their families. That sense of responsibility and entitlement
gets passed down from father to son in so many subtle ways that
revising the husband's role can be a challenge for many men.
Some men may resist being influenced by their wives because
they still believe that the upheaval in gender roles is a passing fad-or
that the pendulum has swung to an extreme and soon things will
revert. But there is scientific evidence that we are living through a
cultural transformation that will not come undone. Anthropologist
Peggy San day, Ph.D." a professor at the University of Pennsylvania,
has devoted her career to studying and comparing hunter-gatherer
cultures all over the world. On the surface our lives may seem very
different from those of the peoples she studies. But human nature is
fundamentally the same. San day has identified certain factors that
determine whether a culture will be male dominant or egalitarian.
(Interestingly, no cultures were female dominant.) She has also
studied the signs that a culture is moving in one direction or the
other.
According to her research, male-dominated societies are
characterized by the following:
- Food is quite scarce and daily life is hard. Danger lurks in the
environment.