Seven naslovi

Now you should have a clear sense of which tasks you
currently share and which fall into each partner's domain. Depending
on what you consider ideal, it may be time to re divide domestic
tasks so that the load is more equitable. Remember, the quantity of
the husband's housework is not necessarily a determining factor in
the housework = sex equation. But two other variables are. The first
is whether the husband does his chores without his wife having to
ask (nag). A husband who does this earns enormous points in the
emotional bank account. The other factor is whether he is flexible in
his duties in response to her needs. For example, if he sees that she's
especially tired one night, does he volunteer to wash the dishes even
though it's her turn? This conveys that all-important honor and
respect for her. Helping his wife in this way will turn her on more
than any "adults only" video.

Becoming parents

The task: Expanding your sense of "ire-ness" to include your
children.
"A child is a grenade. When you have a baby, you set off an
explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage
is different from what it was. Not better, necessarily; not worse,
necessarily; but different." So wrote Nora Ephron in Heartburn, her
roman a clef about the breakup of her previous marriage. Virtually
every study that has looked at how people make the transition from
couple hood to parenthood confirms her view. A baby sets off seismic
changes in a marriage. Unfortunately, most of the time those changes
are for the worse. In the year after the first baby arrives, 70 percent of
wives experience a precipitous plummet in their marital satisfaction.
(For the husband, the dissatisfaction usually kicks in later, as a
reaction to his wife's unhappiness.) There are wide- ranging reasons
for this deep disgruntlement--lack of sleep, feeling overwhelmed and
unappreciated, the awesome responsibility of caring for such a