- "Tell me the story of that. I'd like to understand what it
means to you." - "What do you believe about this issue?"
- "What do you feel about it?"
- "What do you want? What do you need?"
- "What do these things mean to you?"
Don’t:
Georgia : I've always dreamed of going on a mountain-climbing
expedition to Mount Everest.
Nathan : First of all, we can't possibly afford something like that.
Besides, I can't think of anything more stressful than mountain
climbing. I get vertigo standing on a table.
Georgia : Forget it.
Do:
Georgia : I've always dreamed of going on a mountain-climbing
expedition to Mount Everest.
Nathan : Tell me more about what it means to you to climb a
mountain. What would it do for you?
Georgia : I think I would feel exhilarated, like I was at the top of the
world. As a child I was always told that I was weak and couldn't
do anything. My parents were always saying "careful, careful," I
think climbing a mountain would be the most liberating thing I
could do. I'd feel such a sense of accomplishment.
If you can, tell your partner that you support his or her dream.
That doesn't necessarily mean that you believe the dream can or
should be realized. There are three different levels of honoring your
partner's dreams--all of which are beneficial to your marriage. The
first is to express understanding of the dream and be interested in
learning more about it even though you don't share it. For example,