The dreams within the conflict:
His: To feel free and be able to explore by meeting new people at
social events
Hers: To be the center of his attention
Nonnegotiable areas:
His: He must have the freedom to enjoy himself and meet new
people.
Hers: She cannot abide her husband dancing with other women or
touching them, even in a friendly way.
Areas of flexibility:
His: He doesn't have to be completely separate from his wife at
parties.
Hers: She can tolerate her husband talking with other women for a
few minutes.
Temporary compromise: They will stay together at parties for about
half the time. The other half he can go off and mingle by himself. But
he will not dance with or touch other women--and if she tells him
she's upset by his behavior, he'll stop.
Ongoing conflict: He will always want to socialize, she will always
wish he would pay attention to just her.
Now see if you can outline your own problem in the same way.
First write a clear statement of what the problem is and which
dreams of each of yours is fueling it. Then note which areas are
nonnegotiable for each of you and which you are able to be flexible
about. Finally, write out a temporary compromise that you agree to
try for a brief period of time. It will be helpful if you also write a brief
description of your ongoing conflict to confirm that you both
understand it remains unresolved but can be lived with.