Step 5: say thank youIt may take more than one session to overcome gridlock on issues
that have been deeply troubling to your marriage. These sessions can
be stressful, no matter how diligently you attempt to accept each
other's viewpoint without judgment.
This exercise lets you finish on a positive note. The goal here is
to try to re-create the spirit of thanksgiving, in which you count your
blessings and look inward to express gratitude for all you have. This
may be particularly difficult to do after talking about gridlocked
marital conflict, but that's all the more reason to try.
Exercise 2: Say Thank YouSelect from the following list three things you really appreciate about
your spouse. (Of course, you can add items not on the list.) Then tell
your spouse what these three things are. This can be as simple as a
statement like "I really like the way you are sensitive to my moods."
Your energy
Your strength
The way you are commanding
The way you let me direct things
How sensitive you are to me
How you support me and respond to my moods
Your ability to read me
The way you are when we make decisions
The way you let me be myself
Your skin
Your face
Your warmth
Your enthusiasm
Your hair
The way you touch me
How safe I feel with you