11111111
Principle 7:Principle 7:Principle 7: Principle 7:
Create Shared MeaningCreate Shared MeaningCreate Shared MeaningCreate Shared Meaning
“We used to have a yuppie marriage," says Helen. "By that I mean it
was very superficial. We got along okay and really loved each other,
but I didn't feel that connected to Kevin. It was like we were
roommates who made love." Helen, who calls herself a "devout
feminist," had always prided herself on her independence. At first
she thought it was great that she and Kevin had their own lives--their
own careers, interests, and friends. But the longer they were married,
and especially after they had children, the more she felt something
was lacking. She didn't want to give up her strong sense of individual
identity, but she wanted more from her marriage. After attending our
workshop, she realized what it was: She wanted to feel more like she
and Kevin were a family.
If your marriage adheres to my first six principles, there's a
good chance that your relationship is stable and happy But if you
find yourself asking, "Is that all there is?" your situation may be
similar to Helen and Kevin's. What may be missing is a deeper sense
of shared meaning. Marriage isn't just about raising kids, splitting
chores, and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that
has to do with creating an inner life together--a culture rich with