you will know who is expected to do what, and when. Make these
rituals something you do regularly and can look forward to.
- How do we or should we eat together at dinner? What is the
meaning of dinnertime? What was dinnertime like in each of our
families growing up? - How should we part at the beginning of each day? What was this
like in our families growing up? How should our reunions be? - How should bedtime be? What was it like in our families growing
up? How do we want this time to be? - What is the meaning of weekends? What were they like in our
families growing up? What should they be like now? - What are our rituals about vacations? What were they like in our
families growing up? What should they mean now? - Pick a meaningful holiday. What is the true meaning of this
holiday to us? How should it be celebrated this year? How was it
celebrated in each of our families growing up? - How do we each get refreshed and renewed? What is the meaning
of these rituals? - What rituals do we have when someone is sick? What was this like
in our families growing up? How should it be in our family?
Sociologist William Doherry emphasized the importance of
rituals of connection in families. He and his wife, Leah, created the
tradition of after-dinner coffee in which their children played or did
homework while he and his wife had coffee and talked. They all
cleaned up after dinner, then Bill made coffee and brought it out to
Leah in the living room. It was a time of peace and connection. You
can continue building in family rituals of connection you would
cherish by creating the following:
- A weekly date for the two of you, away from children.
- Celebrations of triumph--ways of celebrating almost any minor
or major achievement and creating a culture of pride and praise in
your marriage. - Rituals surrounding bad luck, setbacks, fatigue, or exhaustion.
How can you support, heal, and renew yourselves?