of authority, thankfully, my son is willingly under my influence.
(^) In this chart, influence represents the willingness of a child to
place himself under authority because of trust. This trust has several
elements. Children trust you when they know you love them and are
committed to their good, when they know you understand them, when
they know you understand their strengths and weaknesses, when they
know that you have invested yourself in encouragement, correction,
rebuke, entreaty, instruction, warning, understanding, teaching, and
prayer. When a child knows that all his life you have sought to see the
world through his eyes, he will trust you. When he knows that you
have not tried to make him like you or like anybody else, but only
sought to help him realize his full potential as a creature God made to
know him and live in the relationship of fellowship with him, he will
trust you.
(^) The result is obvious: Your words will have weight. What child
would walk away from such a relationship? You have influence with
him. Each day you live with your children, your influence grows. As
children learn about life, they learn to trust their father and mother
more. Mother gives warnings about relationships and insightful
suggestions about how to be God’s person in a world that requires
conformity. They try it and it works because it is based on biblical
wisdom. Each day children live, they grow in their understanding of
the nurturing care and love of their parents.
(^) Imagine that I was the most trusted adviser of the president of the
United States. Imagine that he never made a decision and never did
anything other than what I suggested. How much authority would I
have in the government? None. I have no elected office. No one is
required to listen to me. How much influence would I have? A great
deal, perhaps more than anyone else.
(^) As you engage your children in the rich, full communication
described above, you not only nurture them, but develop a
relationship of unity and trust.