some parents it may be a reaction to ways they were abused. For most
of us it is a matter of style.
(^) I can understand the resistance of many parents to corporal
discipline. Perhaps they themselves were abused. Maybe they
experienced discipline that was an expression of unbridled anger.
They were struck on-the-fly by parents who were venting anger and
frustration. As children, they may have expereincedexperienced fear,
hurt, and cruel abuse. Perhaps they thought, “When I am a parent, I
will never do that to my kids.”
(^) To all such parents, I say, “I heartily agree with your
determination not to do to your children what your parents did to
you. If you experienced such abusive treatment, it was wrong and
certainly should never be done to your kids.”
(^) But I fear the majority reaction against spanking is a matter of
fashion or style. The world of ideas is continually in flux. Ideas have
their periods of popularity and unpopularity. Like color combinations
that go in and out of vogue in the world of fashion and decorating,
ideas go in and out of style.
(^) The rod, as a form of discipline, is an idea that is unfashionable at
present. If I had written this book in the 1950s, the section on
communication would have gotten little attention from the average
man. No one talked with children then. They were trotted, John
Wayne-style, to the woodshed. Dad was the strong, silent type who
did not talk much, but who used his brawn to keep his boy in line.
(^) We live in an era when concepts of human rights and dignity have
been used to argue that spanking children is barbaric. We have
become sensitive to the potential for child abuse. We don’t want
parents to feel it is their right to beat their children whenever they
wish. Today, communication based on integrity and mutual respect is
a more popular idea. Therefore, it is easier to write about that.
The Rationale Behind the Rod