the parent could be selective about when he wished to be obeyed.
Obedience is not simply an issue between the parent and the child. It
is an issue between the child and God in which the parent is God’s
agent in drawing the child back within the circle of blessing. It is not
a glory to overlook offenses of that sort.
(^) Once the lessons of submission are learned, they are learned for a
lifetime! As I write, my children are in high school and college. We
have not had a contest over the issue of submission for years. God is
faithful to his promise.
Process of Appeal
(^) Once your children understand that they are creatures under
authority and that they cannot always do what they like, you can begin
to teach them how to appeal to their authorities.
(^) You cannot accept refusal to obey. You cannot accept obedience
only when your children are convinced you are right or fair. You
cannot be required to sell them on the propriety of your directives.
These issues must be firmly in place. They are non-negotiables.
(^) You can, however, teach them to appeal to authority. They are not
machines. They have ideas and thoughts. Daniel 1 shows us how to
appeal to authorities. It is important to teach your children how to
appeal in a respectful manner.
(^) The appeal process is a safety valve for the biblical requirement of
obedience. It is a safety check in two directions. 1) It is a check
against caprice on your part. Perhaps you have spoken quickly
without careful thought. Appeal provides a context for you to rescind
a directive that was spoken in haste or was inappropriate. 2) It is a
safety valve for your children. They know that they have permission
to appeal a directive. They know that Mom and Dad will honestly
reconsider and will rescind the directive if that is good for the
individual or family. This keeps the kids from feeling they “can’t
fight city hall.” The appeal procedure is a good “after-command”