spending more time away from the direction and oversight of the
parents. He is confronted with experiences that parents cannot witness
or adjudicate.
(^) Our children are developing a growing independence from us.
They think their own thoughts. They have their own ideas about what
is fun, what is challenging, and what is worthwhile. Their abilities are
defining their interests that express their developing individuality.
(^) One day, when my boys, then ages six and eleven, decided to
make a coaster to ride down the hill beside our home, they went to the
shed, cut the boards, and assembled their little cart—all without help
from me! I was filled with a strange mix of emotions. I was proud of
them for being able to do it. Yet, somehow, I was saddened that they
could do it without me. I felt strangely displaced.
One Big Issue
(^) Assume that you have taught your child the lesson of stage one.
He has come to see himself as a creature made by God, for God. He
has come to understand what it means to be under authority. He has
learned to obey, without challenge, without excuse, without delay. But
your child is now confronted with situations that cannot be reduced to
issues of obedience. How do you build on the foundation of
submission to parental authority?
Character Development
(^) The big issue during these middle years is character. Your child’s
character must be developed in several areas. You want your child to
learn dependability, honesty, kindness, consideration, helpfulness,
diligence, loyalty, humility, self-control, moral purity, and a host of
other character qualities.
(^) You can’t be with him all the time. He must know what to do in
situations that you cannot anticipate. He needs biblical wisdom. His
conscience must develop as the reasoning factor of the soul so that he