own agenda.
(^) Unholy anger—anger over the fact that you are not getting what
you want from your child—will muddy the waters of discipline.
Anger that your child is not doing what you want frames discipline as
a problem between parent and child, not as a problem between the
child and God. It is God who is not being obeyed when you are
disobeyed. It is God who is not being honored when you are not
honored. The issue is not an interpersonal contest, rather it is your
insistence that your child obey God, because obeying God is good and
right.
(^) We know that there is such a thing as righteous indignation, but
righteous indignation responds to an affront to God rather than an
affront to us. It is easy for a parent to say, “I am right and I am angry,
therefore my anger is righteous anger.” It may be that we are just
angry because we are not getting what we want.
Called to Obedience
(^) You do not come to your child demanding, for your own purposes,
that he knuckle under you and obey. No! You come with the
corrections of discipline that are the way to life (Proverbs 6:23). You
engage your son on behalf of God because God has first engaged you.
(^) I recall many conversations that went like this:
(^) Father: “You didn’t obey Daddy, did you?”
(^) Child: “No.”
(^) Father: “Do you remember what God says Daddy must do if
you disobey?”
(^) Child: “Spank me?”
(^) Father: “That’s right. I must spank you. If I don’t, then I would
be disobeying God. You and I would both be wrong. That would not
be good for you or for me, would it?”
(^) Child: “No.” [a reluctant reply]
(^) What is this dialog communicating to the child? You are not