Shepherding a Child's Heart

yields a harvest of righteousness and peace. Rather than being
something to balance love, it is the deepest expression of love.
God provides the understanding of what discipline is. Its function is
not primarily punitive. It is corrective. The primary thrust of
discipline is not to take revenge, but to correct. The discipline of a
child is a parent refusing to be a willing party to his child’s death
(Proverbs 19:18).
What makes this idea so hard to get hold of? It is difficult because
of what we discussed above. We don’t see ourselves as God’s agents.
We, therefore, correct our children when they irritate us. When their
behavior doesn’t irritate us, we don’t correct them. Thus, our
correction is not us rescuing our children from the path of danger; it
is rather us airing our frustration. It is us saying to them, “I am fed up
with you. You are making me mad. I am going to hit you, or yell at
you, or make you sit on a chair in isolation from the family until you
figure out what you did wrong.”
What I have just described is not discipline. It is punishment. It is
ungodly child abuse. Rather than yielding a harvest of righteousness
and peace, this sort of treatment leaves children sullen and angry. Is it
any wonder that children resist the will of someone who moves
against them because they have been an irritation?
Discipline as positive instruction rather than negative punishment
does not rule out consequences or outcomes of behavior.
Consequences and outcomes of behavior are certainly part of the
process God uses to chasten his people. The Bible illustrates the
power of proper outcomes to show blessing on obedience and the
destruction that comes with sin and disobedience. We will look at this
more later.
While it is true that disciplined children are a joy to their parents
(Proverbs 23:15–16, 24), as God’s agents you cannot discipline for
mere matters of self-interest or personal convenience. Your
correction must be tied to the principles and absolutes of the Word of