Maybe they waited too long to start this. They try grounding for a
spell. They try a season of emotional appeals. They use bribery for a
few days. Mostly, they feel frustrated, scared, and yell a lot.
(^) Their children are confused. They are not sure what Mom and Dad
want. They are never sure what system is in effect now. In the end,
they are worse off than if Mom and Dad had picked almost anything
and stuck with it.
(^) You could probably add to this brief list several other possible
methods of childrearing. This list is only suggestive. We need a
biblical methodology.
Evaluating Unbiblical Methods
(^) Where do these unbiblical methods take us? What kind of fruit do
they bear? While we have discussed several differing approaches,
they all lead to the same problems. They lead to superficial parenting,
rather than shepherding the hearts of our children. They only address
behavior. Hence, they miss the point of biblical discipline.
(^) Biblical discipline addresses behavior through addressing the
heart. Remember, the heart determines behavior. If you address the
heart biblically, the behavior will be impacted.
(^) The expediency of dealing with behavior rather than the heart
means that deep needs within the child are ignored. You can’t respond
to Suzie yelling at Jimmy by simply telling her to stop yelling. The
problem is not that she is yelling at her brother. The problem is the
anger and bitterness in her heart that her yelling expresses. If you
only try to change behavior, you are missing the real issue—her heart.
If you can successfully address the real issue, the behavior problem
will be solved.
(^) Superficial parenting that never addresses the heart biblically
produces superficial children who do not understand what makes
them tick. They must be trained to understand and interpret their
behavior in terms of heart motivation. If they never have that training,