his peers. This circumstance is bringing out the hopes and fears of his
heart.
(^) Your communication objective can be stated in several simple
propositions.
(^) 1. The behavior you see is a reflection of the abundance of your
child’s heart.
(^) 2. You want to understand the specific content of the
abundance of his heart.
(^) 3. The internal issues of the heart are of greater import than the
specifics of behavior, since they drive behavior.
(^) To summarize: You want to understand your child’s inner
struggles. You need to look at the world through his or her eyes. This
will enable you to know what aspects of the life-giving message of
the gospel are appropriate for this conversation.
(^) If you are going to understand and help your child understand
himself, there are skills you must develop. You must learn to help
your children to express themselves. You must learn to facilitate
conversation. You must know how to comprehend behavior and
words. You must strive to discern matters of the heart. Proverbs 20:5
says, “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of
understanding draws them out.” As a parent, you want to be such a
person of understanding.
(^) Think about the Incarnation of Jesus Christ. It is a good model for
interaction with your children. God could have remained off in
heaven. He could have spoken through cloud and thunder as he did in
Exodus 19. But what does God do in the incarnation? He comes to
earth to dwell with us. He takes on flesh and blood like your flesh and
blood. He takes a human psychology like we have. He accepts all the
limitations of a man on the earth; he can only be in one place at one
time. He experiences all the things we experience. He is tired and
hungry at Jacob’s well in John 4. He weeps at Lazarus’ tomb.
Hebrews 2 sayssays, “He suffered when he was tempted.”