begin by seeking to understand the nature of the internal conflict that
was expressed in hitting his sister.
(^) As he answers the above questions, your role is to help him
understand himself and speak with clarity and honesty about his
internal struggles with sin.
(^) There are four issues you must walk him through: 1) the nature of
temptation, 2) the possible responses to this temptation, 3) the
motives for those responses, and 4) the sinful response he chose.
(^) In this process you stand both above him and beside him. You are
above him because God has called you to a role of discipline and
correction. You are beside him because you, too, are a sinner who
struggles with anger toward others.
(^) Parents tend to do one or the other. Some stand in such solidarity
with the child in his failure (asking, “How can I correct him when I do
the same things?”) that they fail to correct. Others stand so much
above that they are hypocritically distanced from their children. You
must remember that you engage your children in this manner as
God’s agent. You, therefore, have the right and obligation to censure
evil. You do so as a sinner who is beside them and able to understand
the way sin works in the human heart.
(^) Having seen the importance of communication as one of the
primary biblical methods of childrearing, we will turn in the next
chapter to a description of various types of communication described
in Scripture.
Application Questions for Chapter 8
(^) 1. Are you able to help your children express themselves?
(^) 2. What should be your first communication objective in
responding to a problem with your children?
(^) 3. What are five or six good questions for drawing out what
your child is thinking or feeling?
(^) 4. What changes would you have to make in your