The Whole-Brain Child

remember. During your various activities, help your kids talk about
their experiences, so they can integrate their implicit and explicit
memories. This is especially important when it comes to the most
important and valuable moments of their lives. The more you can
help bring those noteworthy moments into their explicit memory—
such as family experiences, important friendships, or rites of
passage—then the clearer and more inɻuential those experiences
will be.
There are plenty of practical ways to encourage your kids to
remember. The most natural is to ask questions that lead to
recollection. With very young children, keep things simple,
focusing on returning their attention to the details of their day. Did
you go to Carrie’s house today? What happened when we got there?
Just recounting basic facts like this helps develop your child’s
memory and prepares her for interacting with more signiɹcant
memories down the road.
As kids get older, you can be more strategic regarding what you
focus on. Ask about a problem they had with a friend or teacher, a
party they went to, or the details from last night’s play rehearsal.
Or encourage them to journal. Studies have clearly shown that the
very act of recalling and expressing an event through journaling
can improve immune and heart function, as well as general well-
being. More to the point here, though, it gives kids a chance to tell
their stories, which aids them in the meaning-making process that
improves their ability to understand their past and present
experiences.
When we speak to parents about memory integration and
encourage them to help their kids talk about their experiences, one
question inevitably comes up: What if they won’t talk? Or What if I
ask about the art class, and all they say is, “It was OK”? If you have
trouble drawing out some meaty details about your child’s life, be
creative. One trick for younger school-age kids is to play a guessing