The Whole-Brain Child

We need to help children understand that the clouds of their
emotions can (and will) roll on by. They won’t feel sad or angry or
hurt or lonely forever. This is a diɽcult concept for kids to
understand at ɹrst. When they hurt or when they’re scared, it’s
sometimes hard for them to imagine that they won’t always suʃer.
Taking the long view isn’t usually that easy even for an adult,
much less a young child.
So we have to help them understand that feelings are temporary
—on average, an emotion comes and goes in ninety seconds. If we
can communicate to our children how ɻeeting most feelings are,
then we can help them develop the mindsight on display in the boy
we mentioned earlier who corrected himself and said, “I’m not
dumb; I just feel dumb right now.”
Younger kids will obviously need your help, but they can
certainly grasp the idea that feelings come and go. The more kids
understand that feelings come and go, the less they’ll get stuck on
the rim of their wheel, and the more they’ll be able to live life and
make decisions from their hub.