The Whole-Brain Child

connection and compassion can learn what it means to be in
relationship, and to fulfill the responsibilities that come with it.
That’s what this chapter is about. Most of the information we’ve
provided in earlier chapters focuses on how to help develop your
child’s whole brain in order to develop a strong and resilient sense
of “me.” But like Ron and Sandy, you know that kids need just as
much help understanding what it means to become part of a “we,”
so that they can be integrated with others. In fact, in our ever-
changing modern society, learning to move from “me” to “we” may
be essential for how our children will be able to adapt in our future
world.
Helping children become a participating member of a “we” while
not losing touch with their individual “me” is a tall order for any
parent. But happiness and fulɹllment result from being connected
to others while still maintaining a unique identity. That’s also the
essence of mindsight, which you’ll remember is all about seeing
your own mind, as well as the mind of another. It’s about
developing fulɹlling relationships while maintaining a healthy
sense of self.
In the previous chapter we discussed the ɹrst aspect of
mindsight, seeing and understanding our own mind. We talked
about helping kids become aware of and integrate the many
diʃerent parts of themselves via the wheel of awareness. The key
concept in this aspect of mindsight is personal insight.
Now we want to turn our attention to the second aspect of
mindsight, developing the ability to see and connect with the minds
of others. This connection depends on empathy, on recognizing the
feelings, desires, and perspectives of another. Ron and Sandy’s son
seemed to need empathy skills. In addition to developing and
integrating his whole brain and the diʃerent parts of himself, he
needed to be given lots of practice at seeing things from other
people’s perspectives, seeing other people’s minds. He needed to