touch with her body and fear, feels pain. On some level, she
worries that the pain may never go away. When the mother retells
the story of the fall, putting words and order to the experience, she
helps her daughter engage and develop her left brain, explaining
what happened—she simply fell down—so that she can understand
why she’s hurting.
Don’t underestimate the power of a story to hold a child’s
attention. Try this if you have a little one—you’ll be amazed at
how helpful it can be, and how eager he’ll be to help tell future
stories when he’s been hurt or feels afraid.
This “name it to tame it” technique is just as powerful with older
kids. One mother we know, Laura, used it with her son, Jack, who
had been in a minor (but still scary) biking accident when he was
ten and felt nervous anytime he thought about going out on a
bicycle. Here’s how she helped him tell the story so that he could
begin to understand what was going on inside.
LAURA: Do you remember what happened when you fell?JACK:
I was looking at you when we were crossing the street.
And I didn’t see the grate of the sewer.LAURA: And what happened next?JACK: My wheel got caught and the bike fell over on me.LAURA: And that was frightening, wasn’t it?JACK:
Yeah, I didn’t know what to do ... I just went down in the
street, and I couldn’t even see what was happening.LAURA:
That must have been scary, to have something happen out
of nowhere. Do you remember what happened next?