after opportunity to exercise their upstairs brain so that it can grow
stronger and more powerful.
As you and your children go through your day, watch for ways
you can focus on and exercise diʃerent functions of the upstairs
brain. Let’s look at a few of them, one by one.
Sound Decision Making
One big parental temptation is to make decisions for our kids, so
that they consistently do the right thing. But as often as possible,
we need to give them practice at making decisions for themselves.
Decision making requires what’s called executive functioning,
which occurs when the upstairs brain weighs diʃerent options.
Considering several competing alternatives, as well as the
outcomes of those choices, gives a child’s upstairs brain practice,
strengthening it and allowing it to work better.
For very young children, this can be as simple as asking, “Do you
want to wear your blue shoes or your white shoes today?” Then, as
kids get older, we can give them more responsibility in the decision
making and allow them to take on some dilemmas that can really
challenge them. For instance, if your ten-year-old daughter has a
scheduling conɻict—both her Girl Scout campout and her soccer
playoʃ are on Saturday and she clearly can’t be in both places at
the same time—encourage her to make the choice. She’s much
more likely to be comfortable, if not completely happy, about
having to give up one commitment if she’s been a part of the
process of making the decision.
An allowance is another terriɹc way to give older kids practice
at dealing with diɽcult dilemmas. The experience of deciding
between buying a computer game now or continuing to save for
that new bike is a powerful way to exercise the upstairs brain. The
point is to let your children wrestle with the decision and live with