The Conscious Parent

relaxed; unfortunately such days are rare.
This teen’s parents are the most dedicated parents I have ever met,
having altered their entire life to work around their son’s disability.
Though they are with him 24/7, not once in the two years I have worked
with him have they lost their patience or shown any sign of frustration. I
asked the father, “How are you so patient, loving, and giving? Don’t you
ever want to rail and scream at the world and yell, ‘This isn’t fair?’”
He looked at me, puzzled. “What isn’t fair?” he asked. “That my son is
who he is? He is my child, and I accept him completely. If he is difficult,
this means I need to be more patient. If he is scared, I need to be gentler.
If he is anxious, I need to be more comforting. I give him what he needs
from me because this is what I’m here to do.”
Here was a man who had chosen to live his destiny willingly. Not in
any way playing the role of a victim, he had made the choice not just to
survive, but to thrive in the face of this challenge. Fully understanding
his responsibility and role in the dynamic, he knows that his approach to
his son has the power to define their joint reality. As a full-on
participant, he regards his life as an adventure, no matter what the odds.
Winners in the adventure of life don’t focus on why life presents itself
in the ways it does, but instead focus on their desire for growth.
Accepting reality as it is, they realize that life is like the ocean, with
waters that are sometimes calm and other times tumultuous, and contour
themselves to go with the flow. Assessing the energy around them, they
surrender their agenda of what their life “should” look like and respond
to their situation in its as is form with emotional flexibility rather than
rigidity. Foregoing intellectualization, they come from a place of