The Conscious Parent

of calm.
When our children aren’t following “the plan,” we are wise to remind
ourselves they aren’t meant to, since this isn’t what they are on earth to
do. At such times, we may wish to consider whether we ought to change
our plans, instead of always requiring them to abide by our wishes.
If a child is truly being difficult and you are in danger of losing your
patience, it’s vital to listen to the voice within you that whispers, “Don’t
use your children as the receptacle of your frustrations.” When your
child exasperates you, you are wise to hold an internal conversation in
which you ask yourself, “Why am I being triggered right now? Why am I
so unhappy with my child? What is my child exposing in my internal
state of being?” The smart thing may be to take a deep breath and leave
the room. This affords you an opportunity to regroup, as you remind
yourself, “It’s not my child who needs help right now, but me.”
If at times you lose your patience and project your frustration onto
your children, either through harsh words or a clenched jaw, take a deep
breath and forgive yourself. Then let it go and begin over. If you find
yourself losing your patience frequently, the situation invites scrutiny.
There’s simply no reason to lose your patience on a daily basis unless
your life is stretched too thin, in which case it’s time to evaluate your
circumstances and if at all possible restore a balance. At such a juncture,
restructuring your life may need to become your spiritual focus.
Because ending the cycle of how pain is passed from generation to
generation is such an important aspect of conscious parenting, we will go
into it more deeply in the next chapter.