pain
I am “bad” for having caused my parents discomfort.Children who are raised with such an imprint grow up to be parents
who are unable to find their calling in life because of a sense of guilt that
if they pursued what they really want to do, they would somehow let
others down. Parents with this imprint are unable to allow their children
the freedom to live their own life. Because these parents don’t believe in
their own competence, they also tend to have a hard time disciplining
their children or providing an appropriate container for them. The
children of such parents are often spoiled, as well as aggressive in their
own quest for boundaries.WERE YOU UNABLE TO BE YOURSELF?
We have seen that to gain attention, children who were wounded by their
parents’ self-absorption adopt a persona. Unable to own who they are and
what their true needs are because they are in service to their parents’ ego,
they don’t exercise their authentic voice and only ever express
themselves indirectly, instead employing devious means to get their
needs met. Seeing themselves as victims, they displace responsibility for
their feelings onto others, since blaming someone else enables them to
absolve themselves of all responsibility and allows them to adopt a “poor
me” stance.
When these children grow up to be parents, they are unable to allow
their own children to be themselves. If their children dare to be
authentic, such parents see themselves as victims of their children. Or