state and take responsibility for it would be frightening to us, we express
ourselves through indirect means such as claiming we are taking care of
another, all the while using them to help ourselves feel needed and
therefore valued. In other words, our service is motivated by a longing to
fill our own emptiness.
As a result of the damage I have seen so many children inflicted with
at the hands of unwitting parents, I suggest we remove ourselves from
the pedestal of approval-giving by telling ourselves each day, “I ask to
be released from the notion that I have any power or jurisdiction over my
child’s spirit. I release my child from the need to obtain my approval, as
well as from the fear of my disapproval. I will give my approval freely
as my child has earned this right. I ask for the wisdom to appreciate the
sparkle of my child’s ordinariness. I ask for the ability not to base my
child’s being on grades or milestones reached. I ask for the grace to sit
with my child each day and simply revel in my child’s presence. I ask for
a reminder of my own ordinariness and the ability to bask in its beauty.
I’m not here to judge or approve my child’s natural state. I’m not here to
determine what course my child’s life should take. I’m here as my
child’s spiritual partner. My child’s spirit is infinitely wise and will
manifest itself in exactly the way it’s meant to. My child’s spirit will
reflect the manner in which I am invited to respond to my own essence.”“BAD” BEHAVIOR IS REALLY A SEARCH FOR OUR
INHERENT GOODNESS
Tony, a dear friend of mine, is introspective, creative, and worldly. He’s
also a tortured soul. A twin, he was sent to live with his grandparents in