The Conscious Parent

children’s lens on the world. This is the result of feeling such emptiness
that, when we look at the world around us, we focus on what’s familiar,
which is all the things we think are missing. We are so unused to
operating out of a sense of abundance that we can’t recognize the
abundance in the universe.
In some of us, anxiety fuels a need to be “perfect,” which leads to a
compulsion to “fix” ourselves, all of which is driven by a longing to
garner everyone’s approval of us. In others of us, anxiety fuels just the
opposite of a desire for approval, which takes the shape of a spirit of
rebellion. We still feel we ought to be perfect, still have a yearning to fix
ourselves, still want approval, but these are overshadowed by our actual
behavior.
More than anything, anxiety tends to surface as a need to control.
When we are unable to be with ourselves just as we are, we forsake a
kinship with our own authenticity. In place of authenticity, we either
seek to establish some sense of being “in control of ourselves” by
bending to the will of another, or we try to feel in control by dominating
someone else, especially our children. In an attempt to reduce our
anxiety, we are driven to order the circumstances of our life, dictate the
outcome of situations, and organize the people among whom we live.
Worrying gives us a reassuring sense we are “doing” something,
fooling us into imagining we somehow have some control over things.
By engaging in mental “doing,” we feel we are taking action. However,
since worrying is focused on the future, on things not yet developed, it
deflects us from initiating positive action in the present. The truth is,
worry is a mask for our fear of being “present” in our present.