change and return to our passivity. Believing we need to know the
outcome of a situation before getting into it, we embark on a venture
only if we are certain of how it will turn out. Without certainty, we feel
too vulnerable, too exposed.
If you grew up with parents whose primary reaction to life was
anxiety, this is what you too will pass on to your children unless you
watch yourself closely and consciously undo this pattern. Your children
will come to view life as intrinsically threatening. They will learn from
you to fear the very gift that can empower them to face life’s dangers
triumphantly, which is their inherent trust based on their inner
“knowing.” Coming to doubt themselves, they will buy into the illusion
that unless they worry about something or find something to dislike
about their life, they jinx themselves in some way.
A cycle of this kind, passed from generation to generation, is only
broken when we discover that worrying is a mask for a fear of being
present. By becoming present, we can help our children develop their
trust in life as inherently wise.WHAT’S THE SOURCE OF OUR FEAR OF THE
PRESENT?
Many of us are terrified to sit with ourselves and truly experience our
solitude. To come face to face with our total aloneness scares us. This is
why we fill our days with projects and gadgets—why we seek endless
ways to insert ourselves into our children’s lives.
Of course, the root of this fear is our fear of death. This is a reality we
are unprepared to accept, which is why we live our life pretending death