Again, the first step to releasing your children from the snare of your
unrealism is to free yourself from your own. You are a human being
first, then a parent. As such, you are on a quest for spiritual development
and still have a lot to learn, which means you have emotional blind spots
that are yet to be uncovered. You aren’t perfect—and if you are wise,
neither do you seek perfection. Perfection is banal. Rather than
hankering for the “fabulous,” you find yourself delighted by the
ordinary.
It’s important to be able to laugh at your idiosyncrasies, which helps
you release your children from the grip of your ego, allowing them to
find their own center, separate from yours. You don’t need them to make
you feel better about yourself, since you realize this is a solitary process.
You have the ability to be selfless as much as you can be selfish. And
while you have the capacity to give, you also need to receive.FOCUS ON THE PROCESS, NOT THE OUTCOME
We are well aware that, if a person is in many an ordinary job, technology
is fast replacing this person’s services. Looking to the future, we worry
about how our children will survive when they grow up. We tell ourselves
they will endure a life of hardship unless they become star achievers.
When we teach our children early that they are to work toward
something, schoolwork becomes tied to mastery of concepts. Activities
are geared to becoming better at things, instead of something our
children participate in for pleasure. In all of this, our focus is on where
our children are going, instead of on where they are.
By shifting our perspective from the future to the present— letting go