The Conscious Parent

emotional and energetic form.
The more we make it a point to reflect on aspects of our existence for
which we are grateful, the more our children learn to do the same. Our
ability to notice and show appreciation for the smallest elements in our
life helps them slow down and take note of their own life. They learn not
to take any aspect of their experience for granted, but to respect all that
exists around them. Such gratitude fosters a commitment to life.
It’s important to express gratitude to our children just for being who
they are. Rarely do we thank them for who they are, yet we always want
them to appreciate who we are. If we as parents took a moment to look
our children in the eye and say, “Thank you,” really meaning it, their
sense of their value would expand exponentially. In this way, we
communicate that they have something to contribute just by being
themselves.
My friend, a thirty-year-old woman, is spunky and spritely. Yet when
she’s with her family, she’s just the opposite—especially with her father,
around whom she’s all but paralyzed. Recently, I saw why. She had
invited her family to her home, intending to announce that she was going
to be married. At this occasion, her fiancé would meet the family for the
first time. Because he followed a different faith, she anticipated there
would be flared tempers. I watched her prepare for the event, observed
how she couldn’t keep still, and noticed her swallow two Xanax before
the party, chased by a shot of whiskey. A Yale graduate and a partner in a
law firm, she was reduced to a state of such anxiety that it was as if she
wished she could shrivel up and disappear.
When she introduced her fiancé and the family learned he was of