The Conscious Parent

bemoans the fact that “all she wants to do is talk about her favorite
musicians, which is a topic I know nothing about.”
In each of these situations, the parents want their teens to stop doing
what they have learned to do with their time in the parent’s absence, and
instead do what the parent wants them to do. It doesn’t occur to the
parents to change their agenda and join their teens in whatever activity
they may be enjoying—not necessarily because they enjoy the particular
activity, but because they enjoy connecting with their teen.
The role of a parent isn’t to dictate, but to support the development of
a child’s inherent being. This is why, if we wish to connect with our
children of any age group, we need to find a way to match their
emotional energy. When we match our emotional energy to theirs, they
are assured we aren’t preparing to strip them of their authenticity and in
some way change them, which allows them to become receptive.
Whether children are six or sixteen, they yearn to have a meaningful
connection with their parents. If the relationship becomes about control,
judgment, reprimands, lectures, and pressure, a child will turn a deaf ear.
However, if the relationship is about autonomy, empowerment, kinship,
emotional freedom, and authenticity, what child would reject their
parents?
Engaging our children consciously enables us to issue an open
invitation, welcoming them in such a manner that they can’t help but feel
they are being seen for who they are, free of our critique. The point is
simply to convey the message, “I am here, available to be your witness.”
Since to give our complete presence is all that’s required to raise an
emotionally healthy child, some parents might think this means they