CELEBRATE YOUR CHILD’S MISTAKES
In our house, we often play a game at dinner time. Each of us talks about
a big mistake we made during the week. We have turned this into a volley
of sorts, where each tries to up the other’s mistake and the conversation
goes to the tune of, “You think that was a silly mistake? I made an even
sillier mistake.” My daughter gets a kick from hearing about her parents’
mistakes. There’s a sequel to this game. We pick one or two of the
mistakes we made and describe what we learned about ourselves.
One day my daughter said, “I made a mistake, Mommy. I left my
marker open and now there’s a big stain on my bed. I’m sorry.” I told her
how brave she was to “fess up.” Then I taught her how to clean it up. My
daughter knows that I attribute bravery to every confession. So now she
makes it a point to tell me every time she eats a candy she isn’t supposed
to or each time she and her friends hide something from their teacher.
However, it must be said that when my child does lie, which she has
done and will do again, this is just one of the realities of childhood (and
adulthood!) that one has to accept. I don’t belittle her fear when she does
this, but reassure her that it’s natural to be afraid to confess her mistakes.
I also point out that there are times when others will reprimand her for
her mistakes. However, in our house, she needs to know that mistakes are
accepted, and for the most part will be treated compassionately. In this
way, the mistake of lying is seen as a natural aspect of the continuum of
human behavior.
You might wonder, “Doesn’t this encourage a child to take mistakes
lightly?” Let me share why this isn’t a concern. The premise behind